Punkin' Donuts
by randomprecision
Summary: Kagome's a punk! Inuyasha's a prep! What will happen when these two worlds collide...? HILARITY, that's what! [Parody, rated R for language]
1. Stuff and Things

**I've noticed a lot of stories lately revolving around the idea of Kagome being a "punk", Inuyasha being a "prep", and the zany hijinks they create. Although some of these stories are of reasonable quality, I must admit that a vast majority are rather ... awful. I mean no insult to the authors of stories like this and the following is just for entertainment.**

**That being said, this is supposed to be a parody of such fanfics. I tried to incorporate all the cliches I could think of, and I would appreciate any criticism you can provide.**

Kagome woke to the sound of her alarm clock at precisely 8:30 AM.

"FUCKING ALARM!!!" she shrieked, picking up the small plastic clock and hurling it across the room with full force. It collided with her left bedroom wall and shattered into a million pieces, ending the incessant beeping noise.

Kagome sighed, rolled out of bed, and put on her usual school outfit: a black tube top that said BITCHY HELLIAN, a short black skirt covered in various chains, fishnet tights, and combat boots. She glanced in the mirror at her raven black hair with red stripes and then started off towards Shikon High School. She was already half an hour late, and it took fifteen minutes to walk to school, but Kagome was late everyday and was not worried.

She moseyed into her high school nonchalantly, ignoring all the stares from her classmates. She arrived at her homeroom and started to walk towards the back.

"Kagome! You're late!" said her teacher from the front of the classroom.

"What's it to you, BITCH?" asked Kagome, putting her hands on her hips in a stance of defiance and rebellion.

"Kagome, I've had enough of your misbehavior!" said the teacher. "Go to the principal's office!"

"FUCK YOU!" yelled Kagome, flicking off her teacher as she left.

All of Kagome's punk friends cheered and clapped from the back, while all the goody toe shoes preps rolled their make-up laden eyes in the front. One prep, named Inuyasha, watched Kagome with interest, however.

'Wow, Kagome is one tough bitch.' thought Inuyasha, his golden eyes brimming over with tears of admiration. 'I wish I could be as punk as her.'

**LATER! AT LUNCH!**

Kagome got her lunch and sat down at the Punk Table with all the other punks, who were also badass.

"That was so awesome what you did in homeroom." said Kagome's friend, Sparkle.

"Yeah. I was really impressed." said one of her guy friends, Angst.

Kagome paid no attention. People gave her glowing compliments all the time.

"It was nothing. I just had to show that fucking damn bitch whose boss." said Kagome. Sparkle and Angst laughed.

"I wouldn't be so mean to the teachers if I were you." said Kikyo, the preppiest girl in school, who had just come up behind Kagome.

Kagome whipped around with cat-like precision.

"You might not get into a good college." continued Kikyo.

"Yeah, well at least I'm not a damn fucking slutt-o bitch like YOU!" snapped Kagome.

The Punk Table roared with laughter. Milk sprayed out Angst's nose.

Kikyo blushed while Inuyasha came up behind her.

"That was AWESOME, Kagome!" said her other friend Moonglow, giving Kagome a high five.

"Just doing my job." said Kagome, cracking her knuckles. "But seriously, Kikyo, I really wanted to ask if you wanted tickets to the show."

Kikyo glanced at Inuyasha, who shrugged.

"What show?" she asked confusedly.

"The GUN show!" replied Kagome, holding up her arm and flexing her bulging biceps. The punk table erupted once more.

"Oh, please, stop, Kagome! My side hurts!" said Angst, laughing hysterically and clutching his abs.

"Hey, you got a problem with Kikyo, then you gotta problem with me!" said Inuyasha.

"What, you wanna fight or something?" asked Kagome, standing up from her chair.

"Kick his ass, Kagome!" cheered Angst.

"Show him whose boss!" said Moonglow.

'Uh, oh... now I have to actually fight this chick.' thought Inuyasha. 'And she looks tough.'

"What, you scared?" demanded Kagome, rolling up her sleeves and exposing her bulging veiny muscles.

"Weren't you wearing a tube top earlier?" asked Inuyasha.

"Weren't you wearing a BRAIN earlier?" spat Kagome.

Angst began to weep with laughter.

"How dare you insult me, you little punk bitch?" screamed Inuyasha angrily, advancing on her.

No gothic little punk girl spoke to The Great Inuyasha that way!

"Hey, did I hear lunch bells?" asked Kagome suddenly.

"No. Why?" asked Inuyasha.

"Cause you just got SERVED!" and with that, Kagome punched him in the face.

Inuyasha shrieked and fell backwards, a stream of blood spurting from his nose.

"I'll get you WENCH!" he shouted, leaping back up to retaliate.

Kagome dodged him easily and then turned around to kick him in the crotch.

"OW!" howled Inuyasha, falling down to the ground.

Kagome leapt on him and started beating him with her muscular arms which had the strength of three buffalos wearing sombreros.

"Hey, what's going on here?" asked a lunch attendant named Jo Anne.

"I'm fucking teaching this fucking bastard a fucking lesson in PUNKOLOGY!" shouted Kagome with a smirk as Inuyasha's skull caved in.

The preps all screamed while throwing their trays carelessly into the air in unison, and then dashed off towards the door.

"THAT'S IT! Detention... for BOTH of you!" said Jo Anne.

"Fuck off!" replied Kagome. She turned back to Inuyasha. "Be glad that your mommy was here to save you... THIS TIME."

Inuyasha whimpered as Kagome stormed off to her next class.

!!!!!!!#$!!!!!! AT DETENTION !!!!! !!!!!&&&$$#!!!!!!!!!!!11111oneoneone

Kagome walked into detention and sat in her usual seat, next to her gothic friend, Sango.

"Hey, Sango, how's it hangin'?" asked Kagome.

"How's what hanging?" asked Sango, but before Kagome could respond, the teacher, Mr. Dumbass-chan, shouted "HIGORASHI AND SANGO! KEEP QUIET!"

Kagome rolled her eyes. She hated being in detention with her stupid teacher and detention-mates. Now, most students in detention get bad grades and aren't that smart but Kagome was the exception. She was actually the smartest student at Shikon High School and got straight As. In fact, she skipped most of her classes just because they were so boring.

"What'd you do this time?" whispered Sango as their teacher entered an oblivious stupor.

"I kicked the ass of some preppy boy with silver hair." said Kagome.

"You mean Inuyasha??" gasped Sango in wonder.

"Yeah, I guess that was his name."

"Inuyasha is the most popular boy in the school. No one stands up to him." said Sango.

"That's right." said Inuyasha.

Kagome whipped around. Inuyasha had been listening in on their conversation.

"What do you want, dog boy?" asked Kagome.

"To let you know you're going to pay for this. I have a lot of power in this school." said Inuyasha.

"Oh, please." Kagome rolled her eyes. She didn't care about popularity or what anyone thought of her. She was an individual. That's why she bought all of her unique clothing at a very secret and unknown store, Hot Topic.

"I can just tell all the teachers to expel you." said Inuyasha.

Kagome and Sango burst into laughter.

"They wont listen to you!" guffawed Kagome.

"Of course they will! My father owns TechnoStuff Incorporated! He's insanely rich!" bragged Inuyasha.

"Yeah, well my father owns UltraTechnoStuff Incorporated! He's the richest person on Earth!" said Kagome.

Inuyasha wondered why someone so rich would be a punk, and not a prep like all other rich people. Kagome wondered why Inuyasha was a prep, when he could be a punk like all other bad ass people.

Sango wondered why the richest people in the world sent their children to public school.

"It dosent matter how rich you are! You're still a bitch you wenchy wenchish WENCH!" shrieked Inuyasha.

"DON'T CALL ME A FUCKING WENCH YOU FUCKING... INSERT MASCULINE VERSION OF WENCH HERE!!!!" shrieked Kagome, leaping ontop of her desk.

"Uh, oh. Now you did it." said Sango, hiding under her binder.

"Did what?" asked Inuyasha.

Kagome roared as wings sprouted from her back.

"Kagome is half dragon! When she gets really mad, she has the ability to transform into a dragon to kill her enemies!" explained Sango

"Since when?" asked Inuyasha.

"Since now. Once she's reached her full dragon form, she can kill two million slightly overweight men in one second!" said Sango.

"How do I stop this crazy wench?" asked Inuyasha as Kagome's black nail polished... ...uh, nails turned into claws.

"WORSHIP ME, PUNY DOG BOY!" roared Kagome as her shirt burst into flames.

"Oh, she also can shoot fire from her armpits." said Sango.

"FEEL MY STRONG-ENOUGH-FOR-A-WOMAN WRATH!" screamed Kagome.

"I'm sorry! I'M SORRY! Turn back!" pleaded Inuyasha.

Kagome paused.

"What did you say?" she asked.

"I'm sorry." said Inuyasha grudgingly.

"Okie dokie!" chirped Kagome, morphing back to her human form, a sweet smile on her face.

"Wow, Kagome. It is so darn cute when you go psycho and then suddenly turn all nice. You don't do it enough." said Sango lovingly.

"I know. I need more practice." said Kagome, extinguishing her pits of fury.

"Hey, what's going on over there? Are you three passing notes?" asked the teacher, turning up from his puddle of drool to look at the students.

"No, but YOU'RE passing... PASSING OUR LOSER TEST!" snapped Kagome.

Sango snickered. Even Inuyasha found it hard to hold back laughter at Kagome's witty retorts.

"Well, just sit down and pay attention." said the teacher.

"YOU JUST FUCK OFF YOU MOTHERFUCKING FAGGY BITCHO DAMNU SHITTA FOOKOOPOLY!" screamed Kagome.

Before the teacher could respond, Kagome and Sango grabbed all of their stuff and ran laughing from the room.


	2. Things and Stuff

"Man, that was so awesome!" cheered Sango as she and Kagome went dashing into the parking lot.

"Yeah! We showed that bastard whose boss!" agreed Kagome.

They approached their motorcycles, which they both owned instead of cars because they are unique and all unique people own motorcycles.

"Where should we go?" asked Sango as they saddled their choppers.

"Hmmm, I don't know. We have a few hours to kill before my show." said Kagome. Kagome was a fantastic singer, and had a gig at their local nightclub that night.

"Uh-oh. Looks like someone wants to come with." said Sango, glancing back towards the school.

Kagome whipped around.

"What do you want, dog breath?" she asked curtly of Inuyasha.

"I want to go with you guys." he said.

"Why? I thought you hated punks." said Kagome.

"I do. I'm just bored, that's all." said Inuyasha defensively. "So can I go, or what?

"I guess." said Kagome. "But you have to follow us in your car. This bad ass ride is built for one."

"Fine." said Inuyasha.

Kagome and Sango sped off towards Starbucks, Inuyasha following them in his bright yellow Camaro.

Once they arrived, Sango and Kagome ordered black coffee. Inuyasha, to look cool, ordered the same.

They all sat down at a table and started drinking.

Inuyasha coughed as a look of disgust waltzed across his face.

"What's wrong? Black too strong for you?" asked Kagome, sneering.

"No! I just caught sight of your FACE!" snapped Inuyasha.

"Hey, if you don't like us, why did you come here?" asked Sango.

Inuyasha looked down at the table.

"Because…" he started.

"SPIT IT OUT DOG BOY!" shouted Kagome.

"I… need… your… " said Inuyasha quietly, his face turning red. "… help."

Kagome and Sango burst out into uproarious laughter, earning them many stares from the other Starbucks patrons.

"HELP??? With what??" demanded Kagome.

"I want to be… PUNK!" choked out Inuyasha.

Kagome and Sango stared.

"You DO?" asked Kagome, her mouth gaping open.

"YES! You punks are just so damn cool!" said Inuyasha. "Please! Show me your ways!"

Sango and Kagome exchanged glances.

"OK, we'll do it. But we're going to need some help." said Kagome.

Sango whipped out her cell and dialed a number.

"Hello? Miroku? Meet us at our usual store in five minutes. We have major work to do!" she said.

"Ready to go shopping in a punk store?" asked Kagome.

"The only place I ever shop is Abercrombie and Fitch. In fact, I wasn't even aware other clothing establishments existed." said Inuyasha.

Kagome was stunned.

"ABERCROMBIE? Why would you want to shop somewhere with overpriced clothing geared towards teenagers trying to conform to a certain image?"

**LATER! AT HOT TOPIC!**

"Here's some black pants!"

"Chains! We need more chains!"

"Pass me that leather bracelet!"

Miroku, Sango, and Kagome were running around the small dark store throwing random clothing into Inuyasha's dressing room. The store had actually been closed, but since they were the three best customers, they were allowed in.

"Show us how it looks so far." said Kagome.

Inuyasha walked cautiously out of the dressing room. His outfit was baggy black pants with various chains, black converse sneakers, a tshirt that read "I HEART MY WEINER", and his hair had been spiked with red hair gel.

"Much better." said Miroku.

"Yeah. All you need is this wrist band." said Sango, handing him a SLIPKNOT wrist band.

"I don't like Slipknot." said Inuyasha.

"You have to wear it." said Kagome.

"Why?" asked Inuyasha.

"Because all nonconformists have to like Slipknot." said Kagome.

"Ohhhhhhhhh." said Inuyasha. Kagome was so wise.

"OH MY GOD!" said Kagome suddenly, looking at her watch.

"What?" asked Sango.

"MY SHOW! I NEED TO GET HOME AND CHANGE!" Kagome shrieked, racing out the door.

"Huh?" said Inuyasha.

"Kagome is singing at that new club, Punkin' Donuts, tonight." explained Sango.

"She can sing?" asked Inuyasha.

"Yeah, DUH!" said Miroku.

'Wow. Kagome is so friggin awesome.' thought Inuyasha.

**L8R pUNkIN dONUts!!!!!1111!!!1111omfg leik whoa!!!!!111111**

"Kagome Higurashi! You're up!" said some random personnel backstage.

Kagome sighed. She was nervous, yet excited. She was wearing a wife beater, baggy black pants with chains, and red converse sneakers.

'This is it.' she thought, walking out onto the stage.

The audience cheered wildly when they saw Kagome emerge. Kagome scanned the audience, looking for her friends. She saw her lunch crew, Moonglow, Angst, and Sparkle standing up front, Behind them were her adoring friends from homeroom, and behind them were Sango, Miroku, and…. INUYASHA!!!!! GASP!

Kagome was shocked, but had no time to think about it as the music started. She lifted her microphone to her mouth and belted out the deep lyrics she wrote herself.

_My soul is filling with blackness_

_The blackness from your mouth_

_Which is kind of like spit_

_Except not really_

_Because spit isn't black _

_Unless you eat dirt_

_Which is what you are_

_Yeah yeah yeah_

_You broke my heart _

_You fucking heart breaker_

_Broken is what my heart is_

_My heart is in a state of brokenness_

_My dishwasher is broken too_

_Just like my heart_

_Yeah yeah yeah_

_You're like that lady in front of me at the supermarket_

_Taking so many items in the 10 items or less lane_

_I wish you'd shut your damn kids up_

_I think one of them just stole my watch_

_Yeah yeah yeah_

_So if you see me on the street_

_I'm just gunna ignore you_

_Or I might make awkward small talk for a bit_

_But probably I'll pretend not to see you_

_And move along right past you_

_Like the first piece of bread in a loaf_

_Who the hell eats that thing_

_Yeah yeah yeah_

Kagome finished the last long note and exhaled as the song ended. The audience was cheering frantically, and had formed a mosh pit. Kagome bowed and walked off stage as the Punkin Donuts patrons screamed for more.

Sango was waiting for her backstage.

"You were awesome, Kagome!" said Sango.

"Really? You think?" asked Kagome, panting and taking a sip from a water bottle.

"Absolutely! The crowd loves you!" said Miroku, who was standing there as well.

Kagome smiled, and suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. She whipped around.

"Who are-" she started, but stopped. It was Inuyasha.

"Hey." he said. "Can I talk to you outside?"

"Ummmm sure." said Kagome. "Be back in a sec, guys."

Kagome followed Inuyasha out the door to the back parking lot.

'I wonder what this is all about.' she thought.

**DUNDUNDUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Will Inuyasha go back to prep?? Will Kagome's singing career ever take off?? Does anyone give a shit?? And what does Inuyasha want to say???? FIND OUT NEXT TIME!**


End file.
